Batman Slap

So, in case you guys didn’t notice, it’s been a while since my last post, for which I would apologize, if I weren’t busy obliterating a Big-Money Bully trying to take down one of my most popular Apps from the iTunes Apps Store, on the basis that I was somehow infringing upon his trademark, to which I say: NIGGA, PLEASE!

In this blog post, I would like to share some excerpts of my email exchange with said bully and Apple’s Legal Team, and my hope is that if any of you come across a similar situation, you can use some of what I did to bitch-slap the bully trying to take your bread-and-butter away from you. Of course, every situation is different, but the core principles still apply. Plus, you won’t have to spend thousands of dollars on mothafuckin Lawyers and their “Billable Hours”.

Note: For legal reasons, and to avoid any Libel or Slander, I have changed the names of the parties involved, with the exception of Apple and my App.

Exhibit A:

Dear Mr. Tiny Dick and Apple’s Legal Team,

1) The name of my App is “Never Have I Ever 666 – Drinking Game™” and not simply “Never Have I Ever” – which is apparently the trademark that Mr. Tiny Dick and his company own. From what I understand, the standard for Trademark Infringement is “Likelihood of Confusion”, and not merely the use of the phrase itself in a sentence;  there are at least 10 Apps on the iTunes App Store with the phrase/name “Never Have I Ever” in their Title and App Icon – please find attached screenshot.

Also, from my research about Trademark Laws, I’ve found that in deciding whether consumers are likely to be confused, the courts will typically look to a number of factors, including: (1) the strength of the mark; (2) the proximity of the goods; (3) the similarity of the marks; (4) evidence of actual confusion; (5) the similarity of marketing channels used; (6) the degree of caution exercised by the typical purchaser; (7) the defendant’s intent.

My App “Never Have I Ever 666 – Drinking Game™” is completely different and bears no likeness/resemblance to the Name, Title, Logo, App Icon, Graphics, Content, etc… of/to the App owned by Mr. Tiny Dick’s company DICKLESS AND STINKY-DICK INC. – please find attached screenshots – so as to cause the consumer any form of confusion when deciding upon which App to purchase/download.

Yet despite these facts, Mr. Tiny Dick and his company’s insistence upon persistently abusing Apple’s Legal Resources to send me notices, is troubling, and makes me question his true intentions as to why he’s hell-bent upon getting my App “Never Have I Ever 666 – Drinking Game™” removed/banned/bounced from Apple’s iTunes App Store – especially since there are, as can be seen from the screenshots attached, at least 10 Apps on the iTunes App Store with the phrase “Never Have I Ever” in their title/app icon.

My humble request to Mr. Tiny Dick and his company, DICKLESS AND STINKY-DICK INC., would be to focus their time, money, and available resources on improving their own product, instead of filing bogus complaints against me, in an effort to eliminate competition.

I truly believe that I have not in any way, shape, or form, nor do I ever intend to, infringe upon Mr. Tiny Dick and his company’s Trademark/Copyright.


If you guys have similar stories/experiences, and would love to share them with other folks, please post them in the comments section below.

Posted: May 26, 2016 at 10:46 am

Trademark Infringement 101: Dismantling a Big-Money Bully