Star Wars The Force Awakens Poster

May the farce be with you!

After months and months of hype and shameless promotions, Star Wars finally hit the theaters yesterday and it was an unmitigated disaster. A disaster unlike anything I’ve ever witnessed in my life. What the fucking fuck, JJ – you self-righteous scum.

Abrams is one of the greatest con-artists in human history. Lost, then Star Trek, now Star Wars – this guy doesn’t give a flying fuck about the audience, or the fandom associated with some of these historic franchises; the only person he gives a fuck about is JJ Abrams.

I’m not a Star Wars nerd, nor have I ever seen any of the previous Star Wars films; but I am a movie nerd, and I’ve seen enough movies in my life to known that this one was an absolute shit-show. See, not having seen any of the previous movies, my objectivity is not clouded unlike some of these Star Wars fanboys on IMDb and Rotten Tomatoes losing their shit over how fucking awesome The Force Awakens is and why JJ Abrams deserves and Oscar for his sheer movie-making genius, which makes me the perfect voice of reason and a credible source for an Honest Star Wars review.

The movie starts off on a promising note and in the first few minutes you are reminded why The Force was so strong with the original Star Wars trilogy, but then, as the movie progresses, it get progressively worse and worse and then eventually turns into a shit eating contest, with the characters competing against each other for the crown of ‘Shit-Snackerville’, where he/she rules a bunch of shitting shit-eaters!

Also, the movie heavily leans towards Feminist thought and promoting Feminism, which although I have nothing against, makes you question the propaganda machine that is Hollywood, and where we’re headed as a society with nothing but Political Correctness. It seems to me like that was indeed the whole point of making this movie: To Promote Feminist Thought and Ideology. It is not wrong on Disney’s part to do so – Disney has built its huge empire on selling nothing but Dollhouses and Fairytales – it is nonetheless deceitful and leaves the true fans of the Star Wars cinematic universe feeling empty and butt-fucked by the liberal propaganda machine.

Final Verdict:

Don’t buy into the hype, you will be disappointed.

Rating: 1.5/5

Posted: December 19, 2015 at 10:36 am

BREAKING: J.J. Abrams Found Guilty of Brutally and Mercilessly Murdering ‘The Force’